


Only Left To Lose

by amorekay



Category: Code Lyoko
Genre: M/M, Post-Series, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 13:58:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amorekay/pseuds/amorekay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>William just wants something, anything, to fill in the gaps in his memory, and Odd is the only one left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Left To Lose

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place post-season 4.

William had just wanted _something_ , anything, to fill in the gaps in his memory, the things that hadn't come back between the nightmares and the fragments of scenes that felt like someone else's phantoms, full of actions that couldn't possibly have happened by his own hands. Yumi was avoiding him, he was pretty sure Ulrich hated him, and Aelita got this sad and distant look on her face whenever he brought up Lyoko. He was pretty sure _Jeremie_ , of all people, was going to punch him the last time he tried to talk to her about it.

He just wanted _something_. So he sought out Odd, who didn't hate him or avoid him or shut him out, and who had been a pretty good buddy before all of this started, right? William liked Odd. He always thought they got along pretty well. And Odd wasn't one to skimp on the details, so he expected full and elaborate stories of all the XANA attacks that happened in those gaps in his memories – the ones that _he_ was involved in, or, his body was, or, whatever. He wasn't sure how to describe it yet.

But here Odd was, playing with the corner of the blanket on his bed, avoiding William's gaze and stalling in the middle of a story. "When we were on Lyoko or the network, it made sense, I knew it wasn't really you, that is was XANA. But when you showed up in the real world..."

He laughed and continued, "It wasn't funny, but it's funny because the first time you came back, we thought it was just you, and then you–"

I remember, William thought. Like some crappy old television set with bad reception, but he could see it all in his head, joking with the group, telling Yumi he hadn't studied for the test, biding his time, going up to Aelita's room and – and a rush of overpowering hate and control that felt too real, too much like it was his own. He dropped his head into his hands. "She was okay, right? You were always okay?"

"Yeah..." Odd said, trailing off. He looked upset. William felt like punching something, or screaming, or anything to release some of the overwhelming frustration building up inside his head – how could he, how could this, how could any of this have happened? He was so stupid. No wonder they didn't want him around.

The silence stretched around them, uncomfortable and heavy, until William said, "Hey, Odd." Odd flinched. It felt like a slap in the face; William was going to lose the only person he had left who knew anything about this. But, damnit, he wouldn't let go without a fight.

Odd flinched again when William put his hands on his shoulders, pressing down gently to hold him in place when he started to squirm away. He was planning to ask a hundred different questions or start on a hundred different apologies, he just desperately wanted to do _something_. But with Odd looking at him – a mixture of seriousness and sadness flickering over his face in a way that looked so out of place, William said instead, quite seriously, "I'm going to kiss you now."

And Odd didn't flinch at all.


End file.
